Congratulations, citizen! You've purchased the best weapon in the universe! The E.O.N. is not only an unsurpassed multi-use firearm, but a family heirloom for generations to come. Some may say that the cost is prohibitive, but once you've acquired one and put it to a test or two, you'll agree that no matter how dire the situation is, the E.O.N. will guarantee that you come out alive and unscathed. As its namesake guarantees, the E.O.N. will last at least 1,000 years! without any need for maintenance or service of any kind. All you need is a sharp eye, steady hand, and a few bricks of spamcake, and you can blaze a trail of destruction across galaxies.
The E.O.N. comes with several items to preserve and protect your investment. First, the display base provides a simple yet elegant way to store your E.O.N. when not in use. Though it's practically impossible to damage the E.O.N. without destroying it completely, the display base is made from far less damage-resistant materials in order to reduce manufacturing costs. If your display base becomes lost or damaged in any way, please contact your nearest dealer for a replacement.
The second and most important item is the remote. Each remote is permanently calibrated to emit a very specific beam of light. The magnetic locks that secure the access panels of the E.O.N. will only open if the correct remote is used. If any other remote is used, the sensors will not respond. Each E.O.N. and its remote are set to unique frequencies which cannot be replicated. The sensors on the magnetic locks are also unalterable. Any attempt to modify either the remote or the magnetic locks will trigger an immediate self-destruct program. This program triggers a massive feedback loop in the system power, creating an incendiary zone of approxiamately 50 meters of total devastation. If you lose your remote, you might as well jettison your E.O.N. into the heart of the nearest star as it has now become worthless.
Once the access panels are properly unlocked, you have several options. However, you should immediately familiarize yourself with the main power display. The main power display allows you to activate the system power, set the weapon to single or auto fire, and monitor the remaining spamcake capacity of each fuel cell.
Next, you should inspect the spamcake converters and memorize their cycling pattern. That's right, spamcake! The unique power system of the E.O.N. has been designed to transmute this too-abundant substance into an endless hail of hot pink obliteration. Just two bricks of spamcake are enough to power the E.O.N. for two weeks of continuous use!
What other firearm can possibly come close?! Depending on the purity of the spamcake bricks you obtain, the converters may cycle at different rates, resulting in one barrel firing faster than the other. Yes, pure spamcake can be harder to find, but the unmatched effeciency of the converters will give you plenty of time to acquire new ones.
Now you should become well-versed in the removal and replacement of spamcake bricks. The dual power cells are easily uncoupled from the E.O.N. once the magnetic lock is opened. The press of a button allows the power cell clamp to be unfastened and then the power cell can removed.
Finally, we come to the scope. Although the flip-up targeting reticle of the E.O.N. provides O.S.K. (one-shot-kill) ability up to 1,000 meters, the liquid lens power of the scope can extend your accuracy to over 5,000 meters! Some owners have stipulated that they could acheive O.S.K. at over 6,000 meters with the E.O.N. if it is kept still enough.